Teaching children all they need to learn in order to be successful in life is one of the world’s most important jobs. But in every teacher’s life, there is also frustration and the experience of not knowing how to reach particular children. There can be moments of helplessness or frustration and of feeling unprepared to face the challenge.
Dr. Joan Durrant, Canadian child-clinical psychologist and Associate Professor of Family Social Sciences at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg introduces the manual “Positive Discipline: What it is and how to do it” which can guide teachers and parents better prepared for challenging situations without physical and emotional punishment to children.
What is Positive Discipline?
Discipline means teaching. Positive discipline is non-violent and respectful of the child as a learner. It is an approach to teaching that helps children succeed, gives them the information they need to learn, supports their healthy development and protects them from violence.
“The principle is universal. It’s the way of thinking based on children need and healthy development, children rights principles and pedagogical principle. Imagine a future Prime Minister in your class. What kind of person do you want your student to be? Think about the impact you have to their life in long-term with your impulsive response.” added the author.
If teachers want to teach students non-violence, hitting is not constructive problem solving. If you want to nurture a positive attitude toward learning, threatening is not the path. While the short-term response is criticizing, it is not inspiring happy memories of school and of teacher.
“As teachers interact with students, start thinking about long-term learning goals, the ways to make children feel warmth. Once they feel emotional safe, they are ready to learn. Act as detectives sometimes to find out why a particular student might behave as he does. Gradually, the way of thinking will begin to change,” suggested Dr. Durrant
Say no to hitting
The study of 2006 United Nations World Report on Violence against Children found that violence is a common experience in the lives of school children around the world – and that it is often based in long-held beliefs about how children learn, as well as a lack of awareness of children’s rights.
After a while being punished, children learn to accept violence to solve problems and grow into teachers and parents who use violence. They also come to see themselves and others as “deserving” violence.
Dr. Durrant addressed punishment as a danger sign because students do not have opportunities to see other ways of handing conflict which affect not only social and behavioural skills but academic skills. It serves no useful purpose in teaching children what teachers want them to learn.
Teachers should focus more in long-term and consider how their interactions with students affect the paths they will take long after they have left our classrooms.
If you love your cow, tie it down. If you love your child, hit him.
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As the Thai common belief to discipline children and they learn to be good through physical pain, Dr. Durrant addressed that culture changes by time. We should teach children values of courtesy, non-violence, empathy, self-respect, human rights and respect for others.
“Positive Discipline is an investment in nurturing life long learning, motivation to learn. It takes time but correcting the same behaviour repeatedly takes more time. As children become more cooperative and self-disciplined, you will spend less time on resolving conflict,” said Dr. Durrant
Prime to change
Undoubtedly, this approach is challenging. The willingness of teachers and parents to apply and change is the key to success.
“As you develop your positive discipline skills, remember that all of us – teachers and students alike – are learners. We all try, fail, try again, and ultimately succeed. I believe that change can happen in life-time,” said Dr.Durrant.
Story by Pawadee Tiphyarug